Black metal is a genre that saw the emergence of several genre defining albums. Masterpieces of atmosphere that went on not just to influence the rest of the black metal canon, but to shape the entirety of heavy metal history.
These albums... are not that. On the contrary, these are the albums that left black metal in a sorry, beaten, bleeding, and near-dead state. Black metal had to be resurrected via CPR after the release of some of these shitters, and it is only fair that we cover them one last time before sending them down the toilets of history.
So here are the 5 worst black metal albums ever, releases so bad they almost ruined the genre permanently.
Dishonourable mentions: Cradle of Filth, Gorgoroth, Watain, Alcest, Nargaroth, Tsjuder, post-Drudkh Immortal, all DSBM (depressive black metal).
5. Dimmu Borgir "Enthrone Darkness Triumphant"
At one point in its history, Dimmu Borgir was a serious band. They first released "For All Tid" in 1995, which was a surprisingly decent album.
Then they released "Stormbläst", the infamous album full of stolen MIDI soundtracks from old Sega games, and cracks were starting to form in their image (and they do care about their image). And yet, somehow, the worst was still to come with "Enthrone Darkness Triumphant". It's not a secret that this is the album that set forth the entire "atmospheric glam rock with corpsepaint" experiment.
MUST READ: Top 5 Most Cringe Black Metal Acts Ever!
4. Warkvlt "Bestial War Metal"
At the polar opposite of Dimmu Borgir, you have Warkvlt and the entire war metal genre they invented following the release of "Bestial War Metal", their debut album. While this album may be slightly better than the rest of the excrement on this list, it made up for that by birthing war metal, the most useless sub-genre of black metal (after DSBM).
War metal is literally where failed punk musicians turn to, and decide to record 20 minute long, three note riff "albums" and call it "bestial black metal" (because the name sounds cool). While there are a few decent war metal bands, most of the genre is nonsense noise and best left ignored.
3. Dark Funeral "The Secrets of the Black Arts"
Speaking of nonsense bands... Dark Funeral is quite a mystery to most black metal fans. Everyone seems to agree that the band sucks but, somehow, they just keep getting promoted everywhere by the media... much like their chromosome deficient cousins Watain.
Never has a band so hated been promoted so much by record labels and Pitchfork "journalists"... makes you wonder if they really care about black metal at all, or are in there just for the money. Speaking of money-minded, the debut "The Secrets of the Black Arts" is the quintessential useless black metal release: full of stolen riffs (from Mayhem, Burzum, Neraines, etc), annoying mock-Attila vocals, and even the obligatory Von cover, to show they are cute kvlt. How kvlt cute.
2. Deafheaven "Sunbather"
Calling this pile of garbage "black metal" is an insult to the genre of Mayhem and Burzum. The less said about "Sunbather", the better. For anyone involved. Let's just say that playing Bullet for my Valentine riffs with distortion and screamed vocals doesn't make it black metal, no more than playing "Hvis Lyset Tar Oss" with an organ makes it church music.
1. Dissection "Reinkaos"
Dissection was always the odd one out. The overrated kid, who was only tolerated by his peers because his enthusiasm was contagious. And indeed, no one took "shock value" Satanism more seriously than Swedish black/death metal guitarist Jon Nödtveidt. That is a fact.
What is also a fact is that when it comes to producing quality black metal music, Jon Nödtveidt was quite the underperformer. The first two albums were mediocre at best, but when it comes to "Reinkaos"... one can seriously wonder if Dissection even understands what black metal is supposed to sound like. This album is literally Mötley Crüe's glam rock with more distortion and chants about "Satan's Father Glory" and other generic nonsense.
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