Summoning - Black Metal Band

Summoning is an emo glam rock band that pretends to play black metal. Only problem? They don't "play" and they aren't "black metal". Let's start with the former. Out of the five main instruments used to compose metal music, in the case of Summoning, three of them are fake: fake MIDI drums, fake MIDI keyboards, fake MIDI bass. Some say the guitars are just digital samples, and certainly the band has never played live, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for this one. What does that leave us with? The vocals. If you think simply screaming nonsensically into a microphone makes you "black metal" - no requirements for musical talent or atmosphere whatsoever! - then you probably enjoy bands such as Summoning, Cradle of Filth and Dino Burger.

And the worst part about this band is that the few semi-decent riffs found here and there in their discography are all plagiarised from other, better black metal bands... accordingly, you'll find many riffs taken from Neraines, Graveland, Burzum (oh boy, do they love Hvis lyset tar oss or what?) and even Satanic freakin Warmaster. Seriously, how is this band not the butt of all jokes? It's likely a parody band, intended to make black metal fans appear stupid by association. What an insult that they use the work of JRR Tolkien to promote their shit music. Wouldn't Harry Potter be more appropriate? Oh, but wait, JK Rowling is a transphobe now, and Richard Lederer - the frontman known to date post-op "men" - surely wouldn't approve that, would he?