Summoning - Lugburz (Black Metal)

Summoning, aka the MIDI "masters". The band whose members can't even play their own instruments so they resort to atrocious samples stolen directly from LOTR movies. The very name is practically a slur in the black metal underground. This is a band that's more likely to be sneered at than celebrated... and rightfully so. They're widely dismissed as posers, sell-outs, and, dare I say, more of a money-making grift than an actual band. Their albums? Merely products, lacking soul or connection to true black metal. Sure, they've got try-hard "harsh" vocals and double bass (on a freaking fake drum, mind you), but they drown it all in a synth-laden soup that could barely be classified as metal, let alone black metal.

Yet, somehow, against all odds, even the most hardened elitists will grudgingly admit that their first album, Lugburz, has its moments. It's hard to believe that a band synonymous with so much garbage once produced something halfway decent, but it does happen. There are plenty of examples of bands starting out with a glimmer of potential before sliding headlong into mediocrity. Summoning... is NOT one of those cases. All their albums suck, 100%. All of them.

With that in mind, about a decade ago, I finally caved and gave Lugburz a listen. Let's just say it wasn't my finest decision.

One might assume that a black metal album released in 1995 — a golden era for the genre — couldn't be that bad, right? After all, this was almost the same year Mayhem dropped De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, and Burzum's Hvis Lyset Tar Oss was fresh in the atmosphere, casting its influential shadow. Darkthrone's Transilvanian Hunger had just blown minds, and debuts from Emperor, Enslaved, Neraines and others had solidified Norway's dominance in the scene. Summoning, on the other hand, arrived rather late to the party, and it shows. While other bands had deep ties to the scene and the legendary Euronymous, Summoning seemed to materialize out of nowhere, armed with little more than keyboards and ambition. And their frontman, "Protector" Richard Lederer? His black metal credentials were, at best, questionable. He had no prior experience playing in a black metal, or any metal, band whatsoever. One minute, he's claiming to have hung out with Euronymous and Varg; the next, he's saying he's never met them. On the liner notes of Lugburz he even claims his band is from NORWAY, which he later admitted to having completely made up to gain "street cred". What a poseur. The closest he probably got to "the scene" was buying an album at Helvete. Maybe.

When you finally press play on Lugburz, it quickly becomes clear: Summoning had no idea what they were doing. Richard Lederer once remarked that after Euronymous died, a flood of bands emerged that wouldn't have lasted a week if he were alive. The irony is palpable — he's describing his own band. If you thought the synth overdose on Satyricon's Dark Medieval Times was hard to stomach, prepare yourself for Lugburz. Keyboards dominate this album, not in a way that adds depth or atmosphere, but in a way that makes you question why you're still listening. The result? Something closer to cheesy gothic romance than anything resembling black metal. And then there's the flute — because, sure, why not throw in a flute for good measure?

The guitar riffs, if you can call them that, are wholly unremarkable. There's not a single melody that grabs you, nothing that lingers in the mind after the album ends. It's all so generic, failing to stir any emotion, much less the darkness or aggression you'd expect from black metal. Even the vocals, harsh as they are, lack any real bite. They exist, but they do nothing to elevate the music or inject any menace. It's almost upbeat at times, as though the riffs would be more at home in a power metal track from the '80s than on a black metal record. And the production? Well, at least it's "grim", I'll give them that. But it's also amateurish. Think "low fi" as in "bedroom DSBM" nonsense to hide incompetent musicianship. The keyboards and fake MIDI drums (because real instruments are for actual bands, apparently) drown out the guitars. Which, let's be honest, is probably for the best, given the quality of the "riffs".

Ultimately, Lugburz is about as evil as Mötley Crüe — except without the technical proficiency. If you're one of the many who despises Summoning but has heard whispers of their first album being worthwhile, save yourself the time. This record is lifeless, a relic of a band that never had any real connection to black metal. Summoning began as a joke, and they've only grown into a bigger one. The only difference now is that they have the budget for slicker production and more laughable "epic" soundscapes (see Minas Morgul, Dol Guldur, and the rest of their catalog of Lollywood rejected scores).

Do yourself a favor and avoid this aids ridden abomination Lugburz at all costs. And if you ever happen across it, destroy it before it spreads its fagothry. What an insult to the work of JRR Tolkien.

Back to the band Summoning.